I am leaving.
Well, not forever, I know I’ll be back in a month or two, back to my home sweet home. When I return I’ll be on a two-month long vacation. Yes, two long months. I have no idea what I’ll do in those two months, maybe go hang out with some old friends, maybe have second thoughts about my past relationships, one specifically and maybe will make the mistake of calling her again, but that’s another story.
So, where was I? Yes, I’m leaving home and what’s weird is that I have “left” home several times before, nine times throughout the last year, but it still feels a little disturbing, makes me agitated a little bit. When I am in my house nowadays, it is boring; Yes I said it, BORING! Can’t wait to go out, be free for some time, do whatever I want, take unusually long walks; No restrictions. But when I’m leaving, finally, I feel, weirdly enough, sad.
“Let me stay for just one more day.” I think to myself as if someone’s kicking me out.
It is weirdly funny and annoying, angering and the hilarious part is at that point of time I’m angry at no one but myself, I’m the one throwing tantrums like a two-year old. Not because I do not want to go or stay either, but just the fact that I can’t decide to choose one of the two is just… ugh!
“Hey, asshole! Choose a thing and stick to it”, I think to myself, often actually. Yeah, I curse myself a lot, but then again I just laugh it off (perks of being thick skinned).
So throughout this entire journey, my mind is scribbled, like that unsatisfying drawing, crumpled and thrown in the bin. Very hard, I’m trying to think of something or someone to think about but I am failing every single time. Every time I try too hard, just end up grinning at the stupidity of it, as a whole.
But I’ll have to admit, this journey is a pretty nice one, the scenery outside, a vivid one is quite fancy. The cloudy day accentuates the greenery of the countryside, projecting the beautiful colorful contrast; as if my weird mind came into reality. And the faces I came across, they too are quite remarkable, whom I’ll probably forget after a night or two, but still. This is a scenario perfect for poetry, I can feel it, but still it’s not enough.
So nothing else to do I just let my child of a mind wander around a little more, get lost a little more.
A co-passenger, a cute one, an eager one, had a laugh, as she took a peek at all these dilemmas of mine, leaving nothing for me to do but smile back.
Hi. I hope some of you can relate. Leaving home really sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?
Go read one of my last posts “Mind“.
And as always, don’t forget to Like, Comment and Share.
See you soon.